I’m getting them again. Emails that grab me with subject lines that are misleading as heck. As a marketer, you’re better than that.
Let’s dissect a couple of these.
“You Have Nothing To Lose.”
That was the subject line of a recent email that begged me to take advantage of a coaching program with a guru. It costs me absolutely nothing to do – it is, in the style of the Internet Marketer, “FR.EE.” The calculus behind this, and other emails like it, is that I’m going to take a flier on your event, course, value-added service – and that I won’t think of my time as something I have to spend.
This is a problem. This is not an Empathy Marketing tactic. This is just lame.
See, I don’t know about you, but I choose to invest my time wisely. The reason I have nothing to lose, in your opinion, is because you know what’s on the other side of this offer, and it’ll only take an hour for me to find out.
If I ever fail to take your time seriously as a marketer, you can ignore my message.
What’s sad about this particular message I received is that the guy behind the curtain is probably someone I could learn from. But, because I got flummoxed by the email arrogantly telling me I had nothing to lose, I put the message into the mental circular file.
Let’s take a look at another one:
“Numbers Don’t Lie.”
Oh, don’t they? Peeling back the onion in this particular email and it’s even scarier. “9000 people visit this site every month!” “50 people have qualified for the bonus already!” I’ll agree: Numbers Don’t Lie.
The 9000 people who visited your site every month: are they bots from another country?
The 50 people who qualified for the bonus: what did they do to qualify?
Let’s amend the statement: Numbers Don’t Lie, but you can sure as heck use whatever numbers you want.
How About This? Let’s Take Each Other Seriously
My time is something I take seriously. 3 minutes reading your email from top to bottom are three minutes I’m not there for my wife and my kids.
Truth is something I take seriously, too. Mislead me with numbers that I can EASILY CHECK on the Internet and I’m going to lose respect for you.
We’re all trying to make a living. We’ve all got lives to lead. Take me seriously and I’ll do the same to you.
So we got the note today – after signing up what seems like ages ago and joining the ranks of the 75,000 or so who had signed up in the past 24 hours. (A figure they didn’t verify, but, in the interest of US-Pakistani relations, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.)
I’ll give the Groupin team a few points for starting with as much info as they possibly can. It’s a nail spa, you know what you’ll get, and it sounds like you could actually eat off the floors.
Note to my Pakistani friends: “eat off the floors” means the same as “very clean.” We Americans speak funny.
2. It appears to be a pretty good deal.
At the current exchange rate, you’re getting US$11.80 worth of services for US$3.54. So, factoring in the exchange rate, your 70% savings in Pakistani Rupees equates to 70% in US Dollars.
Note: I realize that should be obvious. But you never know.
3. These are probably the best types of services to try out. Right?
Not an expert on the Daily Deal space – friendly plug for our pals over at DealRadar, who follow this for a living – but it sounds like a good place to test market your offering if you’re Groupin. A spa or salon might be a better hook than a restaurant – plus, getting women on board first is one of the keys to Groupon’s success.
Now, for the negatives.
1. What’s next?
Given their history, we don’t know what the next deal will be. The last Groupin deal was on sugar. They appeared to have some success with it – but whether or not staples work better than destination is something that will remain to be seen.
2. Radio Silence.
We waited for quite awhile to get either a confirmation or a deal sent to our inbox from Groupin. We figured that, since we weren’t in Islamabad, we weren’t going to get anything at all.
So, when today’s deal arrived in our inbox, we were surprised. But what took them so long?
Area 224 will continue to cover this breaking story. Go Groupin!
Photo credit - Mayakamina - CC LicenseWhat does one guy’s avoidance of soda for an entire year tell us about our own Marketing, Communications, and Business?
The thinking behind it was rather simple: the stuff can’t be that good for you, and water is a great alternative. So, after what turned out to be very little deliberation, there it was…
No more soda.
Withdrawal? Sure, some. Caffeine wasn’t cut out, so that meant more coffee throughout the day. Water made up for this quite a bit – always having a water bottle or a big cup on the desk can help.
Savings? Heck yes – why “super size” when you can order tap water instead? Why order bottled water, either, when you live in a city whose tap water is 7000 times less expensive than bottled?
Habit-breaking? This might be the toughest – so easy to run to the machine, grab a can out of the fridge, even “switch to diet” because that can’t be bad, either. But it can be done.
What does all this mean for you?
Feature vs. Benefit
Rather than dissing sugary sodas – there are countless nutritionists and food blogs to do that – instead, let’s focus on the concept of “Feature” vs. “Benefit.”
Most of the time, even soda marketers get stuck in the “Feature” department. This beverage features “zero calories.” That beverage features “great cola taste.” They don’t tell you the benefits of zero calories (less of a waistline), they point back to another feature-rich product, and tell you that theirs is similar – but zero calories.
Shiny pop cans are features.
“Naturally sweetened” – feature.
The benefits are almost always subtly – or NOT subtly – communicated in the vein of “Lifestyle.” Drink this and be like the rich athlete. Drink that and become cool like the guys in the commercials.
Are you communicating benefits?
If not, why not?
How will the prospect Benefit from signing on the dotted line with your firm? How will the customer have a better life or a better lifestyle with your product?
Even if you don’t have the marketing budget of the big boys, that’s okay. In fact, that might be even better.
The benefits of a soda-free lifestyle
You will have more money in your pocket.
You will feel better because you are consuming less junk.
You will be able to redirect time and money to pursuits that can add value to your day.
Heck, you’ll contribute to a better world because you’re contributing less cans and bottles to the recycling bins.
Communicating how the world benefits from your unique contribution? That’s uniquely valuable. Tell us how we’ll benefit.
By the way, the launch of 12 Minute Marketing is here. You can redirect some of your soda savings toward becoming a better marketer, in just 12 Minutes a day.
It’s the oldest fortune cookie joke ever: insert the words “in bed” at the end of your fortune. So, should a mattress company “sponsor” it?
This is a brand accident waiting to happen.
Already, as of Sunday Night, March 13, 3800 people “like this.” And, if Instagram can get 1,000,000 users to take normal photos and make them all Polaroid-y and Olde Timey, then, Sealy must figure, why not?
This. Is. Potentially. Bad. News.
For, maybe, forever, the mattress universe has steered clear of stuff like this in their marketing. Sure, if you are IN the mattress business, you probably swap these sorts of one-liners all the time.
AND, we have always advocated TO brands that the brand is out of your hands – especially in this public, social media, app-driven world.
BUT, to equip people with the means to make a joke out of your own brand – to invite them to do so at your expense and, we fear, to dare people to cross the line – which they will, it won’t take long…
This is a brand accident waiting to happen. Agree? Disagree?
Lowbrow marketing is one thing. This, quite another. And a bad idea.
CEO of Quest Software. Watch the video to get the background, then, after the jump (that makes us sound cool, but we don’t really have a jump here), let’s talk about why this is awesome.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez2MCnE7Apw
Why This Is Awesome…
1. This is a subtle dig.
Really, making fun of a logo because it looks 1992? (And it’s actually from 1987?) Okay, but, do we have better things to do?
Subtly, the CEO (a/k/a my new hero) tells us this: I don’t know what you bloggers do for a living, but we’re so focused on creating a great product that, well, we really don’t care what you think of our logo.
2. “It’s on my surfboard.”
Maybe the greatest line in the whole video – though the LOL-worthy moment where they show an animated logo is also priceless – is when Doug Garn shows you his surfboard with the logo on it.
This is the whipsaw effect that video marketers are always looking for; and, in one fell swoop, he took this from “CEO who might be hip” to “this guy has a surfboard, he can’t be a goober.”
And you forgot what we were talking about. Bad logo? Old? Outdated? What? Let’s go surfing!
3. He’ll buy the blogger a cool watch.
Was he digging on the watch that the blogger owns? Maybe. Is he offering to buy a new one for the blogger? Yes.