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On Gender Differences, Being Dispassionate, and Meeting The Steel Man

“Facts don’t care about your feelings.” — Ben Shapiro

Gotta be honest with ya, I love a good debate. It’s great to see two really smart people go toe-to-toe, each presenting facts and packaging them into convincing arguments that lead me to see both sides of an issue, and think differently about it when they’re done.

Realizing that I haven’t seen one of those since the Internet was invented, I have to accept what passes as a debate these days: Twitter threads, or memes about political candidates, ad hominem attacks, or dripping condescension. (With a nod to the late, great Bob Newhart, condescension is when we need to lower ourselves to your level to explain something.)

Guilty As Charged

I lifted that meme from the Internet. If you’re following this particular thread, apparently, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance, who is Donald Trump’s running mate, may have made some positive comments about Diet Mountain Dew at one point, thus drawing the ire of anyone who (1) leans Left and (2) likes a good meme.

To prove we’re equal-opportunity here, let’s share something from the Right: Vice President Kamala Harris, speaking with reporters after the release of hostages a couple nights back.

Neither of these above memes are arguments. They’re both…just…things. One’s a meme, the other’s a tweet. Neither are gonna help you do anything other than cement the thinking of BOTH your argument — “Vance is a douche!” “Harris can’t speak on her feet!” — and your opponent’s — “Vance is cool, not a douche.” “Harris brings the calmness the moment demands.”

So now that the “Both Sides” presentation is out of the way, time for the point behind this here article: you have tools at your disposal to be really REALLY good at winning your argument. We’ll share two of our favorites here, and we’ll use a current controversy to do so.

Let’s get to work.

Tool #1: Being Dispassionate

“What are you passionate about?” Heck, I don’t know. And I’m not sure that’s your business, anyway.

If faced with an issue to dissect, and an argument to win, maybe it’s time to channel your inner Ron Swanson, remove any feelings, and figure out what’s going on in the most laissez-faire manner possible.

In other words, become “dispassionate.”

So our example is ripped from the headlines:

A boxer from Algeria, Imane Khelif, won a preliminary boxing match in the Women’s Olympic boxing competition against an Italian boxer named Angela Carini. The match ended abruptly after Carini withdrew from the fight at the 43-second mark.

Carini claimed later that she had never been hit so hard in her life; the reason was that Khelif had previously been banned from competition for “failure to meet eligibility criteria for participating in the women’s competition.”

If you’re not familiar with the rest of the back story from the Olympic boxing controversy, you can read up at this link from a site called Reduxx. Also worth reading is the statement from the International Boxing Association. Some careful study of the issue is necessary and, to borrow from the line above, find some facts that don’t care about your feelings.

Using logic, here’s our best Occam’s Razor explanation.

First, how did we get to this week:

  • The Algerian Boxer was banned from competition because testing by the IBA revealed that the boxer had male sex characteristics
  • The boxer in question was raised as a female by her family, but
  • Algeria, being an Islamic country, would not have allowed for a transgender individual to compete
  • Therefore, the boxer, while raised as a female, has enough of something (either testosterone or XY chromosome or actual genitalia) to be technically biologically male.

Having been declared “male” by a governing body (the IBA) that is charged with protecting competitors, the International Olympic Committee, bowing to PR pressure, decided to reframe the argument:

  • The boxer was raised as a female
  • The boxer’s passport reads “female”
  • The IBA is not qualified to make a determination; or, more accurately, we are deemed more qualified to make a determination
  • And we cannot keep females from competition against other females.

It’s then possible to draw a dispassionate conclusion:

The Algerian Olympic Boxing Team went along with the assumption that, despite testing from a recognized governing body, they had a potential medalist on their team. The IOC went along with the assumption that keeping people from competing — despite compelling reasons to do so — is not right.

The blowback from this decision has been…severe.

That particular “tweet” (which is what we used to call a post on X, now it’s a…”post on X”) has nearly 300 million views. (Or, accurately, some people are really passionate about the issue.)

Removing Empathy, Replacing it with Logic

One explanation of a dispassionate argument is this: take out any and all empathy, replace it with logic.

Empathy, here, may ask you to feel bad for the Algerian boxer — how must she feel to be subject to this negative publicity? — and the Algerian team and the IOC for having to deal with all the scrutiny.

Logic, though, can still have you feeling bad for *at most* the Algerian boxer; it is highly likely — based on the available evidence and the recent testing from the IBA — that Khelif has something called “Differences in Sexual Development,” or DSD. Khelif should not have been allowed to proceed to the Olympics if it was determined that rules for qualification could not be met.

Tool #2: The Steel Man

The Steel Man

You’ve heard of “Straw Man” arguments — where one side completely misrepresents what the other is arguing, or refutes a different argument from the one being presented — but you may not have heard of “Steel Man” arguments.

The easiest way to explain is this: if a “Straw Man” is flimsy, think of a “Steel Man” as the opposite of flimsy. Try to find the strongest case on the opposing side of your argument, and see what holes you can poke into that case.

Using our current events example, a Steel Man argument for the Algerian boxer might go like this:

  • Khelif has been female from birth, as evidenced by photos of Khelif as a youngster wearing female clothes and presenting as a female
  • Khelif’s passport identifies her as female
  • The IBA test has remained secret and, despite the IBA ruling against Khelif’s eligibility, the IBA has since been discredited by the IOC
  • The IOC, as the governing body behind the Olympics, should be the final arbiter of fairness
  • Any perceived differences in fast-twitch muscles, strength, or stamina should be attributed to superior athletic ability and better training.

The important thing here is to use the Steel Man to try to figure out whether the other side has a good argument, and to use what you learn to potentially bolster your own.

Where To Next?

My goal here is not to tip my hand too much about how I feel about this particular situation — though you can probably guess where I fall on this issue; it’s a shame that Olympians have lost out on opportunities to compete when the IOC has failed to recognize the IBA testing, especially in a situation that logically looks like they’re letting a male compete against females — but to ask you to do two things with the next argument:

  1. Become Dispassionate. If you remove feelings — knowing that someone’s will always be hurt — and thing logically, you’ll likely have more clarity around your own point of view.
  2. Consider the Steel Man. The other side has to have some benefits to their argument, right? If you poke around and look for them, you’re likely going to find out why the other side thinks like they do. And you may even find ways to beef up your own argument.

Here’s to some clarity for us all.

Want to Own The Narrative? Own The Room.

Editor’s Note: Here’s a piece we originally ran over on Substack.

Rewatching Global Financial Crisis Movies, and Replaying the Global Financial Crisis in Your Head

I am blessed to work with, and know, a pretty age-diverse crowd.

Which means a couple things: (1) I need to watch my “Cultural Literacy References” (e.g., talking about how great The Dennis Miller Show was, then punctuating an obscure witticism with “Cha-cha” may not be as over-the-target a zinger as I hoped); and (2) some “Historical References” might be lost completely.

Which brings us to the Global Financial Crisis.

If you missed it, you might have been too young, or it was something that wasn’t as relatively big in your world as it was in the epicenter of global finance.

The unofficial trilogy of the GFC is, in chronological order:

  1. The Big Short, which begins in 2005 and is based on a true story and derived from Michael Lewis’s book of the same name;
  2. Margin Call, which is set during the early part of the GFC (2007-2008) and, while fictitious, really wasn’t too far from the truth; it all takes place in around a 24-hour period;
  3. Too Big To Fail, which wraps everything up nicely and shows the beginning of the unraveling of companies like Lehman Brothers and AIG; it’s based on Andrew Ross Sorkin’s book of the same name (and the book’s title comes from the decision-making process that leads to that binary question that kinda keeps us all from another Depression: Is this particular bank “Too Big To Fail?”).

The Big Short has arguably one central character — Michael Burry, the guy who made the huge bet starting it all — and Too Big To Fail has several; I’ll argue that Margin Call has one central character: John Tuld, played by Jeremy Irons.

Watch This Scene

Even if you’ve seen the movie, I’ll suggest that, before proceeding, you watch (or rewatch; or, if you’re me, rewatch it for the 100th time) the scene here: the “Senior Partners Emergency Meeting.”

Own The Room Like John Tuld

While the scene marks a turning point in the movie, I’d hazard a guess that a good chunk of people had this scene — which is up there with Ned Beatty’s in Network and Alec Baldwin’s in Glengarry Glen Ross; links to both are below — serve as their introduction to the film. (Thanks, YouTube algorithm!) This is fine, because it also serves as the film’s introduction to Tuld.

This is a character that, until this point, we had not seen nor heard from.

But this is a character that would show us in just ten minutes not only who was in charge, but how to run a meeting. Here’s his playbook.

1. Don’t Call A Meeting Just Because

Sure, we get it, meetings are important. Regular team meetings, 1-on-1s, quarterly all-hands: these are part of corporate life. But Mr. Tuld is judicious with his time and is calling this meeting — At what appears to be 3:45 a.m.! With a dozen people! All wearing suits! — because he absolutely has to.

The meeting marks a decision point for the firm, and there is a necessity to it. He’s not meeting just to meet.

2. Every Meeting Should Have Either An Agenda…Or A Point

This meeting didn’t have a stated agenda, but, as we learn at the end, the meeting had a definite point: save the firm.

You could argue that the guy in charge can call a meeting whenever he (or she) wants to and gather everyone at 3:45 in the morning and he could do so without an agenda or a point. It’s a flimsy argument, though, as the person in charge cannot ascend to a position of importance if they call one agenda-free, point-free, 3:45 a.m. meeting. There will not be a second one of those meetings.

Tuld sets the agenda at the outset: this meeting is vital, he wans to get to the bottom of what’s in the report, and he wants to hear from the people who know how the firm got to this point.

If you’re asking whether this meeting could have been an email — which is a GREAT question to ask of any meeting — this meeting COULD NOT HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL.

3. He Involves the Subject Matter Experts…

Tuld relaxes the group at the outset (see above); a likely deliberate mistake to both get everyone thinking (a) did he just say that? and (b) okay, if he can make a mistake like that, maybe there’s less pressure on me.

Since the team is now relaxed — as relaxed as one can be at this hour in what they have to know is the highest-stakes meeting they’ve ever been in — Tuld wants to hear from the expert: Peter Sullivan, played by Zachary Quinto.

But, before Sullivan speaks, Tuld delivers another self-effacing line; this one is meant to get Sullivan as comfortable as possible:

Sullivan starts explaining the situation and Tuld — having already disarmed everyone TWICE — invites Sullivan to “just relax, stand up, tell us in a clear voice: what is the nature of the problem.”

Tuld has now given the limelight to a junior-level researcher, and he is keenly interested in what Sullivan has to say. Tuld is the one running the meeting, and Tuld does not have all the answers. Sullivan’s report — which was finished just hours earlier, and portends of some really REALLY bad things happening to the firm — has caught his attention.

This is the sign of a leader who, in this case, has incomplete information and is looking to confirm that things are as bad as they are. He knows that Sullivan is the person who can put it in perspective. Or:

Tuld walked in thinking the firm was 90% screwed. He needed Sullivan to confirm the other 10%.

So, he’s not afraid of sharing the spotlight. However, we used an ellipsis for number 3 above because…

4. …Not Everyone Is Included in the Discussion

You’ll notice that there are more than a dozen people in the room. You’ll also notice that nobody speaks unless called on. And you’ll notice half the people in the room DO NOT SPEAK AT ALL.

Sam Rogers, Kevin Spacey’s character, only speaks when he’s asked how they’d implement the plan; his back-and-forth with Tuld underscores their work history together, and he appears to be the only one who can challenge Tuld.

Other than that, Jared Cohen (played by Simon Baker) weighs in a little (more on that below) and Ramesh Shah (Aasif Mandvi) is very brief when suggesting the legalities of what they’re about to do.

But, in the days of “everyone has a voice!” and “we’re an inclusive culture!” it’s notable that most successful organizations aren’t running democracies: in this meeting, crisp is the way to go. We don’t need to hear from Steve in Accounting, and we don’t need a bunch of corporate-speak. We’re not running this up the flagpole; the flagpole is in the room.

5. Enjoy the Silence

One of the best parts of this scene starts at the 4:57 mark, when Tuld asks Sullivan “Do you care to know why I’m in this chair with you all, I mean why I earn the big bucks?” (Sullivan, of course, says yes.) We’ve queued it up below; watch the next minute.

Tuld explains that he’s in that role “to predict what the music might do a week, a month, a year from now. That’s it. Nothing more.” Then…

The word “silence” is punctuated by 15 full seconds of…silence. No one fills the silence until John Tuld fills the silence.

6. Have A Decision Filter…AND USE IT

I mentioned above that Tuld had about a 90 percent inkling that things were wrong — that the music was slowing — and Sullivan’s report got him that last 10 percent — the music had stopped — and now we’re at the decision point. Tuld asks Jared what to do next, Jared pauses, and we get the line from the movie poster:

  • Be First
  • Be Smarter
  • Or Cheat.

Not just a clever marketing gimmick for the movie, this is the decision filter that Tuld had planned on using all along.

If you’re calling a meeting that has a decision to be made, you need to have a decision filter in mind. You need to know going in if there are plans of action that you can reasonably take.

(Funny enough, they do often come in threes like that; the old mantra from my startup days about whether or not to enter a new market often came down to choosing from one of these three:

  • Build (e.g., use your resources to create the solution yourselves)
  • Buy (find someone doing it and pay for their solution)
  • Or Partner (find someone doing it and join forces with them).)

Anyway, Tuld made his choice: Be First. They would get out of the MBS world, effectively killing the market in the process, and face the consequences.

What Can You Learn From All This?

Well, for starters, don’t call a 3:45 a.m. meeting unless you absolutely have to.

But, and again we know meetings are necessary, if you call the meeting, you’re best to begin at the finish line:

  • When this meeting is done, what will I have learned?
  • What decisions will my team need to make?
  • Who is responsible for the final decision?

Also, if the meeting could have been an email, by all means make it an email!

BTW…

Here, as promised, the Ned Beatty scene from Network:

And here’s Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glen Ross:

Price’s Law; Or, Make Yourself Indispensable At Work

Remember Pareto’s Principle? He’s So 2006.

If you’ve been anywhere around business or business books or hustle culture or anything related to GSD (“Getting Stuff Done”) at work, you’ve heard of the Pareto Principle.

The 80/20 Rule.

80 percent of [THING] will come from 20 percent of [GROUP]. Simple, really: if you sell something, 80 percent of sales will come from 20 percent of your customers. If you take a category — like, for instance, music — you’ll find that 20 percent of the artists produce 80 percent of the songs that actually get listened to.

For a while, this was canon in business and you couldn’t go into a work meeting without trying to use that to sound smart. “Boss, why don’t we fire 80 percent of our clients so we can just sell to the 20 percent that we spend all our time with?”

This ignores…well…EVERYTHING about whatever business you’re in, but points scored for simplification!

Introducing Price’s Law

THE ECONOMY is in weird shape; Note that your job might be at risk if you aren’t deemed to be productive. However you slice that at work — look busy! be at your desk! — at some point you’re gonna start looking around and asking the question: Am I Getting Stuff Done?

Price’s Law is “stupid simple:”

The square root of the number of people in any enterprise will produce 50 percent of the productivity.

Let’s apply this to your (hypothetical) team at work and figure out what that means for you.

If it’s a small team, it of course makes sense: in a team of 4, the square root of 4 — which is 2 — will do half the work. (I was told there would be no math.)

But in a bigger team Price’s law starts to have…bigger impact.

Raising Your Hand At Work

In a (hypothetical) team of 50, let’s call the square root 7. 7 People are getting stuff done, the other 43 are working at roughly 50% capacity. In a sales-driven organization, that doesn’t bode well for the other 43.

Now start to look around: are you one of the 7?

Probably pretty easy to answer that question in a lot of organizations. You have a little success on a project and then you have another project assigned to you. You open the door to sell something to a company and all of a sudden that company asks you to help them solve a different problem. You write a piece for the company blog and it clicks and then management realizes you should do more blog writing.

You are pretty obviously one of the 7.

Making Sure Your Department Is Productive, Too

Your job as “one of the 7” is pretty important when management starts to look to…well, how do we say this…cut the dead weight. These are sometimes the “get me the low performers” discussions, but they, too, are sometimes the “which departments can we do without?” discussions.

Yeah, that’s right. If marketing isn’t producing, marketing can easily be cut. Well, let me edit that: If marketing isn’t seen to be producing, marketing can easily be cut.

Your goal, then, as one of the 7 is to make sure that your department works on — and ONLY on — high-impact projects. If 20 of the other 43 are assigned to the Penske File and all they’re doing is moving the contents to an accordion-style file folder, that’s a low-impact project. If the other 23 are working on monthly TPS reports that don’t go anywhere, that’s a low-impact project.

Your Book of Business

It’s an insurance industry thing: the Book of Business. Or your portfolio. You should have a sense at all times of what that means for your personal situation: what are the clients you’re bringing in and/or responsible for? What are the projects that you are working on and how are they tied to the business and its bottom line?

What is your department doing on those days when they’re not planning or navel-gazing or working on Penske Files and TPS reports?

Your Book of Business should actually be yours. You should be able to discern where you have the most impact, and, if they show you the door, you should be able to say “hey, I was one of the 7 and here’s how.”

Or you should be able to say “here’s what the other 43 were working on, it added no value, I helped with the things over here that did add value, and I’m indispensable.”

You can thank Mr. Price.

Editor’s Note: This post originally appeared on Dave’s Substack on March 3, 2024.

The Top Ten Songs of 2023

We’re counting them down, just like Casey Kasem. We’ve done this before — here’s a link to last year’s post: Top Ten Songs of 2022 — and we like to think we keep up with the trends, within reason.

Please note a couple things from your friendly wannabe music critic:

  1. I rarely listen to terrestrial radio for music. When I do, since I’m in suburban Chicago, it’s either the alternative station or the rock station or the…whatever that other combination alternative and rock station is. (That reminds me of a song from a band called Das Racist.)
  2. I get most of my new music from a SiriusXM channel called “SiriusXMU,” with “Alt Nation” coming in second. (Yes, Pearl Jam Radio is one of the presets, too.) Shout out to Josiah.
  3. I trend away from anything related to Taylor Swift. Nothing against those who love Taylor, but…I really can’t get into her music.
  4. I listen to a good chunk of what I find on YouTube and what I see on Twitter.
  5. Finally, I get music recommendations from a chap I call “Canadian Steve;” he’s the one who broke down Oasis for the blog. Sometimes it’s an email that should be a Substack, and sometimes it’s a WhatsApp message. Probably the guy more of a sense of what’s going on with the combination of Alternative, Rock, Pop Rock, Indie, and Everything Else than anyone I know.

Before we hit the Top Ten, here are the Honorable Mentions, ranked (a), (b), (c), (d), and (e) for no reason.

HM(a). Queens of the Stone Age, “Emotion Sickness”

On my list of all-time favorite bands, QOTSA is up there. But, as we’ve pointed out before — notably in our piece on Rolling Stone’s list of 500 songs — “favorite” and “best” are often two different things. And that’s where I land on this particular QOTSA piece: one of my favorite bands hasn’t done its best work here. It’s a song that’s…fine. It sounds a little too much like other QOTSA stuff, and now they’re on the fine line between “Distinctive Sound” and “Every Song Sounds the Same.” But…well, we’re gonna keep listening to the album and here’s the track in question.

HM(b). Nilufer Yanya, “L/R”

This one gets an Honorable Mention mostly because I didn’t discover this song until 2023, but it was released in 2022. Nilufer Yanya is from England and of Turkish, Irish, and Barbadian descent. This song is pretty darn good and would have made last year’s Top Ten had I known it existed. (Shame on me.)

HM(c). Vacations, “Midwest”

For a band that calls its kind of music “Woozy guitar pop,” and is from Australia, why are they singing about places like Colorado? Dunno. Nice song here.

HM(d). Men I Trust, “Billie Toppy”

We like Canadians. You’ll see that below. In this case, a French Canadian band that released a song in September of 2022. It became an earworm for this reporter late last year and throughout a good portion of this year, too. Can’t chart it due to a technicality because it was last year, but oh well. We have our principles here. It’s a darn good tune.

HM(e). Maneskin, “Honey (Are You Coming?)”

What’s NOT to love about an Italian band with a Scandinavian name? This song is brand-spanking new…to me at least. But the radio station and Alt Nation are both giving it the “here’s the brand new song from Maneskin” treatment at the end of November, so let’s go with that. It’s a hoot. Big fun. Had to make the list as an Honorable Mention.

That’s enough of the Honorable Mentions, especially if we want to hit our December 1 publish date. Let’s go…Top Ten time!

10. Little Dragon, “Slugs of Love”

Clever dance-ish pop/alternative track from a band called Little Dragon. I dig, you may as well. Enjoy.

9. The Beaches, “Blame Brett”

Dave, what is it with you and Canadians? This all-female outfit from Toronto is back with its fourth album, Blame My Ex, and this particular track has picked up steam in the US, ending up on the playlist of at least one of the Chicago stations (and reaching 35 on the US Alt charts).

8. Noah Kahan, “Dial Drunk”

This song got some major airplay in 2023, and I’ll admit to being late to the party. But the lyrics! Dangit, this is a tragic story. Watch the lyric video and feel for the guy.

7. Lovejoy, “Call Me What You Like”

This song is pure fun. Lovejoy probably has the second-most mainstream success (or maybe third-most) of any song on this particular list — you’ll see when we talk up number one — and this song got all the way to number 5 on three charts, including LTU, which is “Lithuania.” There’s a joke there, possibly from the movie “Singles.”

6. Suede, “The Sadness in You, The Sadness in Me”

Pretty much every year I’ve been doing this, a song drops late in the year, stops me in my tracks, and makes the list. (Happened last year, take a look here: 2022 Top Ten.) Suede did the trick and I heard this song for the first time right before Thanksgiving and Oh. My. Goodness.

5. Brigitte Calls Me Baby, “Impressively Average”

There’s a band from Chicago channeling The Smiths? IN THIS ECONOMY?

4. Depeche Mode, “Ghosts Again”

What amazes me about Depeche Mode is how they can release something that sounds simultaneously like it’s fresh AND from 1990. Stunning in its beauty and its pain, this song is downright phenomenal.

Now…time for a female-dominated Top Three.

3. Cherry Glazerr, “Ready for You”

This song went into heavy rotation as soon as I heard it. It shall stay in heavy rotation likely for the next couple years.

2. Blondshell, “Salad”

I spent most of 2023 thinking it would be impossible to hear a better song this year. And, were it not for the top song (according to me), this could have been the year for Blondshell.

But let’s face it, this probably WAS the year for Blondshell. For instance, a network television debut on Jimmy Fallon’s program (below). Criminally underwatched — only 45K views? WHAT? — but a slick live performance. A tour (that I missed because I was traveling). A debut album that clocked in at Number 11 on Rolling Stone’s list of the Top 100 Albums of 2023. And freaking moxie, people.

“Look what you did, you’ll make a killer of a Jewish girl” is the line that caused the multiple rewinds of this song (thanks, SiriusXMU).

TBH, the lyric video is preferred in my book because you can see how good a songwriter Ms. Teitelbaum is. Three links below (Fallon, official video, lyric video).

https://youtu.be/nUiFV1v674Q?si=37_49w6ZCe2h3MPG

Also, before we get to the Number One Song (According to Dave) of 2023, might make sense to give you the last couple years’ picks. Eh? (Because everyone should have a ten-year plan, I’m already charting “Top Songs of the 2020s.” Set a calendar item for 12/1/2029.)

The Top Song of 2022: Hemlocke Springs, “Girlfriend”

Yeah, this was the Top Song of 2022. Now, 2.9 Million Views Later…Still slaps.

The Top Song of 2021: Glass Animals, “Space Ghost Coast to Coast”

Before “Heat Waves” became a hit but actually after “Heat Waves” was released…

The Top Song of 2020: The Districts, “Cheap Regrets”

If pressed, this is the Best Song of the Decade (So Far). Released during the height of the pandemic — a pandemic that robbed us of so many live music experiences — were I to check my YouTube stats, this would no doubt be my most played since 1/1/2020. The video is awesome, the vibe is off the charts, the guitar is crazy good, the lyrics stick with you — “Didn’t know what a mirror was til I went to LA/Jacuzzis, an Uzi, a Land Rover ride/That’s what the money’s for/Bikinis, Bellinis, and pate” — and if any song cost-justified SiriusXM and my ability to rewind and hit play over and over in my Kia, this was the song.

Now, without further ado…

1. The Last Dinner Party, “Nothing Matters”

A debut single off a forthcoming album from a band that just launched getting this much street cred? Something MUST be amiss. The Guardian breaks down the brouhaha here.

But they toured, they opened for — Brits like to say “supported,” but that reminds me a little too much of David Brent supporting Texas (the band, not the state; IYKYK) — Florence and the Machine, and they’ve been really REALLY busy on that side of the pond. And the hype is, indeed, warranted.

The Last Dinner Party’s single, “Nothing Matters,” has everything you were looking for in a launch into the stratosphere. Justin Hawkins — who, we assume, STILL believes in a thing called love — hilariously breaks it all down (video below).

To wit, the video is macbre enough, and goofy enough, to work.

The song might be the catchiest thing you’ll hear this year. It’s already getting airplay in Chicago — edited, of course — and it’s just this band’s FIRST SINGLE.

Below, enjoy Justin Hawkins’ video (NSFW: Blue Language), then the band’s official video (NSFW: Blue Language), followed by a SFW performance for the BBC.

It’s the Song of the Year. At least, according to me.

There you have it. Let the debate begin!

A Holiday Blog Post About AI Strategy for Marketers

Your holiday season would not be complete without an obligatory blog post that tells you how artificial intelligence can make your holiday marketing and PR content better. That’s right, there’s no sense in doing everything yourself. Automate! Use AI!

For instance, you could go to Bard, like I just did, and type in a prompt like this:

Oh my, this is gonna be brilliant. Here’s suggestion 1 of 7 — SEVEN!!! — to help you along:

1. Embrace nostalgia and evoke emotions

Taylor Swift is known for her ability to tap into nostalgia, and her holiday campaigns are no exception. She often references holiday traditions and classic Christmas songs, which resonates with her fans and makes them feel connected to her.

For your own holiday content, consider using nostalgic imagery and language to evoke emotions in your audience. You can also use storytelling to create a sense of warmth and connection.

Disclaimer: The above was written by AI. I couldn’t come up with something so banal by myself. I need inspiration.

But wait, it gets better…here’s item number 5. Because you can always shoehorn SOCIAL MEDIA into your holiday content!

5. Leverage social media to reach a wider audience

Taylor Swift is a social media pro, and she uses her platforms effectively to promote her holiday campaigns. She often shares photos, videos, and exclusive content on her social media channels, which helps her reach a wider audience and generate buzz.

To maximize the reach of your holiday content, make sure you’re promoting it on your social media channels. Use relevant hashtags, share engaging content, and run contests and giveaways to attract attention.

Disclaimer: Okay, enough already. Seriously.

Another Tip: Become the Master of Absurdity

Yes, you should try to weave in as much absurdity in your Holiday Marketing. Is it absurd to consider the Bing AI Generator to…

Well, first you need to start with Thanksgiving, and Football, and the old phrase “Stick a Fork in [INSERT TEAM NAME], they’re done!].” Ask AI to create an image like this…

And the winner is…

Thanksgiving’s Over, Move on to Black Friday

Oh, this is gonna get good.

If you follow our Substack, you might have seen that we’ve played around enough with AI to figure out that the image maker thing can’t spell. In this case, you spot it “Black” and “Friday” and it somehow finds a way to fail.

Or it drops a couple letters.

But at least the ad looks sorta modern.

What’s The Point?

Everywhere you turn, you seem to see something or someone telling you that generative AI is going to change your life for the better, immediately. And sure, being able to run tons of options through a machine is great, or asking for a machine to create a bunch of words that you can then turn around and make mad bank from is also great.

Until it’s not great. Until you outsource the thinking. Until you just phone it in.

My Absurdity Playground of AI Imagery — I should consider trademarking the phrase “Absurdity Playground” — hasn’t been done for any other reason than amusement. I’m trying to push the limits of absurdity and using AI to do that and it’s semi-clever, but I never plan on “going pro” at it.

So there’s the point: if you want to really make things happen at work — especially as a professional marketer, PR person, or communicator — you need to focus on asking this question:

What Business Problem Are We Trying to Solve?

Are you trying to churn out better content? Great. What problem will that solve? Do you need to book more appointments, or 10x your sales?

Oh, it’s about “Thought Leadership!” That’s the business problem you’re trying to solve, right? Being “out there” as a “thought leader!” Great. Are your thoughts original? If not, are they researched? Do they have a point of view? Or are they just…banal, trying to leverage the next big thing?

Here’s the Advice: Blocking and Tackling

Table stakes for the communicator: there needs to be a reason to do what you do, or else you’re just an order taker, filling out forms, generating words and images to make the bosses happy.

Figure out why you’re doing what you’re doing and things will go a lot more smoothly.

Also, be sure to know how to spell and use punctuation.

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